The Road To Self-Discovery Circa 2013 Part II: The Storm, No Regrets, and the Minute the World Stopped

Saturday, March 30, 2013

Q1-2013: First Quarter Storm 

January: After the minor fender bender accident, I was thrown in to an abyss of sadness...my sister is going home and my beloved Tita Mila lost her battle to cancer. We just celebrated the Cherry Blossom Festival in Nago and unknown to us, Tita Mila was already at the hospital. Two weeks prior we were just conversing over the phone, our usual routine, checking on each other's activities, asking for her wisdom and sharing jokes. The pain of losing her feels like I lost a part of myself...I will never be whole again but her love endures and somehow I will find solace knowing she loved me more. She has lived a very inspiring life...she said " No regrets" , she reached out to a lot of people and helped them in ways only she could, she LOVED to the fullest, LAUGHED without reservations...I will miss her forever. 

Coming home to an almost empty house feels very lonely and I realized that after dropping off my sister at the airport. Elise is at school while Gabe is at work. My sister has been a huge help, she made sure we have dinner and more every night, our household managed, and major help with Elise so I could study and prepare our business venture. Now, the 3 Obedoza's once more.

February: The strains of raising a 2 year old, pursuing a doctorate degree, mourning of our loss, and starting a business in foreign soil have started to weight in & it crept up quickly that it started to drown me. I felt I am pushed and pulled in thousand ways. I filed for Elise's last day at school late January and that caused a stir. Elise will be at school until the end of February so I could do homework at the library and build our biz. The first few weeks I was able to effectively go on full blast in my new routine. I just needed an office space I can call my own at home, I told my hubby. You see, I could not thrive in a cluttered space. My mind could not focus when I see piles of clean laundry to fold, random stuff to organize and storage boxes to rule. I feel that I have committed myself in a lot of things and I have spread out myself thinly. I was trying to aim for balance and I realized balance is not what you read about rather it is very situational. 

Business building became BUSIER, I have had the chance to participate in a meeting that I will just label as BULL. I understand the importance of gathering what other people is thinking particularly the ones on the business side since this is my weak point. So, my friend Joy invited me for dinner to meet up with Cooky, a prior business consultant from PI now an active duty service member. Do not get me wrong, I came to the meeting without prejudice. Oh boy, was I glad I have not fully prepared a business plan to show him because the interaction made me very uncomfortable. I respect his opinion but instead of me listening, I ended up defending. In my head, a consultant should never infuse or force his opinion to his client. He needed to strategize how his analysis could come across effectively and objectively. Major fail and I feel I wasted my 2 hours and boy was I glad to end that conversation.

The preschool LOGO is out! I feel that my dream is really coming true having seen the logo for the Early Learners International School! Hubby and I were so excited. Even though the dance of yes/no/maybe I am allowed to own the biz solely is still a huge question mark in the air since the paperwork is not moving yet...I know I needed to fulfill this dream, Tita Mila believed in my dream, most of all she believed in me.

We were able to trek out to Tokyo, thanks to the kindness of mom- in- law, to attend a business seminar that went in detail about foreigners owning businesses in Japan. It was a busy but worthwhile trip. Not only was it informative, it also gave Gabe, Elise and I the chance to bond with Joy and her 2 daughters. After the trip, my schedule became jampacked...deciding on getting two units or one. School work for grad school. Curriculum building. Lease contract signing. Construction for the unit improvements. Finding classroom furniture particularly chairs and tables. China manufacturers are hard to deal with...tried Philippines....still no luck. I tried all angles- friends and friends of friends...all angles but to no avail. What frustrates me are the events beyond my control. Yes, the thinking and planning are causing me to lose sleep, appetite, and sanity. However, the saving grace are the people I least expect to help me. There are still people out there who are ready to help out when asked, angels within our ranks so to speak. One thing that I am losing grip is my academics and I saw how much support my classmates and professors are extending to me .... 

Friday, July 19, 2013

The World Stopped for A Minute

Wow!  I just once again went on a hiatus in writing and my previous post originally meant for March 31 just posted today July 20...whew that is almost 4 months in- between! 
I actually failed to wrap up that March 31 post because I felt overwhelmed...YUP, from March- June 2013 I have felt that I was in a dense fog without certainty of my direction and trying to follow the patches of light that comes my way.  Finally, I found a lighthouse to provide me direction and courage to move on.